When you’re too stressed to take action
At times, you may notice that a belief feels too strong or too emotionally charged to work with using the reframing process.
This is not a sign that you’re doing it wrong. It’s often a sign that your system is overwhelmed.
When we feel highly stressed, our brain and body shift into a protective mode, or what we know as “fight, flight or freeze.” In this state, the thinking part of the brain – the part that helps us reflect, problem-solve and see things from different perspectives – becomes less accessible.
Instead, the brain becomes focused on detecting threat and keeping you safe. This can feel like your mind is racing, going blank, or looping on the same thoughts without resolution.
When this happens, it can be very difficult to challenge beliefs or take clear, constructive action. You might find yourself overthinking, avoiding, shutting down or reacting in ways that don’t feel like your best self.
In these moments, the goal is not to push through or force change. The goal is to support yourself.
One of the most powerful shifts you can make here is to meet yourself with compassion rather than judgement.
Instead of thinking, “Why can’t I handle this?” or “I should be able to deal with this,”“you might instead simply acknowledge, “This is too much right now,” and even “It makes sense that I’m feeling this way.”
This small shift can begin to reduce the intensity of the stress response and create a sense of internal safety.
It’s also important to recognise that sometimes we need to make room for our experience before we’re ready to change it.
When difficult thoughts or feelings arise, our instinct is often to push them away, fix them quickly or move past them. But when we do this, they tend to persist or even intensify.
Allowing yourself to pause and acknowledge what you’re feeling – without needing to immediately change it – can help your system settle.
You might notice:
- What am I feeling right now?
- Where do I feel this in my body?
- What does this part of me need in this moment?
For now, your focus isn’t on analysing or solving the feeling, but simply allowing it to be there, with a sense of openness and care.
Alongside this, you can gently support your nervous system to regulate. This might include:
- Slowing your breathing, with a longer exhale than inhale
- Grounding your attention in your body, such as noticing your feet on the floor or your back against a chair
- Looking around and naming a few things you can see or hear
- Stepping away from the situation and giving yourself space
- Reaching out to someone you trust and talking things through
These small actions signal to your body that you are safe, helping to reduce the intensity of the stress response.
As your system begins to settle, your capacity to think clearly and respond intentionally will return.
After practising these steps several times, you may find it easier to come back to your limiting beliefs and start to work through the reframing process.
It’s also worth remembering that this is not a linear process. There will be times when you feel calm and clear, and other times when you feel overwhelmed or stuck. Both are part of being human.
If you notice that certain thoughts, feelings or experiences feel consistently overwhelming, or difficult to manage on your own, it’s important to seek support from a qualified therapist who can help you work through them safely and at your own pace.
Confidence is not built by pushing yourself through distress. It’s built by learning to respond to yourself with awareness, patience and self-compassion.